Never be the Same
by labyrinth1119
Summary: Two old men reflect…one shot…songfic…implied slash (no details)…character death…Alternating POV’s…whew!


A/N: Have you ever had one of those nights when you are so tired because you stayed up late reading fan fiction, and you lie awake in bed thinking about what you just read, and then a song pops into your head, and then it's just all down hill from there? Well, I experienced this very problem last night... This is a break from the current story I am working on, just something to pass the night...I wrote the story with alternating POV, I tried to make it easy to tell which was which, but I apologize for any confusion. The story starts with Draco's POV. 

Disclaimer: (checks pockets) Nope! Still not mine!

_song:_ "Will never be the Same" by Melissa Etheridge

poem: "Road Less Traveled" by Robert Frost

**x**movie quote**x:** The Prophecy

_

* * *

So you walked with me for a while _

_Bared your naked soul_

I guess it was inevitable, that you and I would get past the petty name- calling and hateful remarks. Maturity can do a lot for a person, even for the likes of us. We found that we could have a civil conversation, sure, the hatred was still there but it stayed in the background for political reasons. Really, what would be the point in fighting when we were so close to graduation?

_And you told me of your plan_

_How you would never let them know_

I remember the time I found you by the lake, staring off into the distance. I could see the pain reflected in your emerald eyes as you battled some inner war and I approached you, cautiously, but you did not leave. In a rare weak moment you told me all your anguish, all your fears. You knew you would defeat the Dark Lord, but you were not so certain of your own fate. You cried, so hard, fearing that your friends could sense this weakness about you. You were so lonely, choosing to keep your fears to yourself, but deciding that they could never know.

_In the morning of the night, you cried a long lost child_

_And I tried, oh I tried to hold you. But you were young, and you were wild_

Did I really care that your destiny was ordained before you were placed on this earth? No. Is it fair that you were robbed of so much in your short life? Maybe.

I think you suddenly realized who you were talking to and you made a hasty exit. I stayed a bit longer...

_Secrets of your life, I never wanted for myself_

_But you guarded them like a lie, placed up on the highest shelf_

It was strange the way we moved from bitter enemies to reluctant acquaintances. I don't know what I was thinking when I spilled my heart to you that night by the lake, obviously, I wasn't thinking at all. I often tried to get you to see the way of the better, the way without pain. You would scoff, smirk or make some off handed remark leaving me to wonder if you even heard a word I said. Maybe you were in denial, thinking that his way was not so bad. How do you stay so guarded? How can you never let anyone see you? I wish you would show me how.

_In the morning of the night, when I woke to find you gone_

_I knew your distant devil, must be draggin' you along_

We didn't speak after graduation. You had your path and I had mine. I trained with the best wizards in preparation of the final confrontation and eventually started helping the Ministry sort out awful attacks on muggles and wizards alike. I saw you once, not that I could see your face under the cloak, but I could never forget that grace in which you moved. In that moment, I really wished that I could have shown you how much it would have meant to me if you chose the side of the light. Then maybe, things would be different and I wouldn't have to hide it anymore.

People often referred you to an angel while we were at Hogwarts. With your pale skin, and blonde hair. The term just makes me think of a muggle movie I once saw,

**x**Did you ever notice in the bible, whenever God needed to punish someone, or make an example, or whenever God needed a killing, he sent an angel? Did you ever wonder what a creature like that must be like? A whole existence spent praising your God, but always with one wing dipped in blood. Would you ever really want to see an angel?**x**

That is what you were to me, an angel, but marred serving the "God" you chose. So beautiful, yet so revolting. Didn't it ever occur to you that as a Malfoy, you shouldn't bow to anyone? That as a Malfoy, you shouldn't get your hands dirty? Apparently not, because for a Malfoy, blood is blind.

_But I, I will never be the same_

_Oh I, I will never be the same_

You could never have guessed how much my opinion of your was changed that night by the lake. Here I thought you had everything, you were Dumbledore's "Golden Boy", you had fame and friends and you were so bloody PERFECT! In a way, you still are, but you will never know that.

I knew your Gryffindor pride tried, several times, to convince me not to take the path chosen for me. I read something once, something about two roads that converged in a yellow wood,

And I, I took the road less traveled by

And that has made all the difference

Sounds great, but it is complete fantasy. Sure we all want to be that person who strays from the pack and makes his own life with his own decisions, but let's be honest here. We are all pretty lazy when it comes down to it. Who wants obstacles when you can have a road paved with gold? I was born on that road, and I had no intention of leaving. I would remind you that you had picked the wrong side, your downfall was inevitable! You would just look at me, with those beautiful eyes, and smile. Why couldn't things have been different?

_Caught in your eyes_

_Lost in your name_

Ah yes, the names. That was a bridge we never did cross. Using our first names would have admitted to the feelings we had for each other. What would be the point? Why walk a path together when it would end horribly? Even as I rose through the ranks of the Death Eaters, even eventually taking my father's place, I never stopped thinking about you. I did you see you once, fighting to save those stupid muggles. You could not have known it was me, as I was dressed in those oh-so-flattering cloaks. Why did your eyes follow me while I made my escape? Did you know?

_And you swore that you were bound for glory_

_And for wanting you had no shame_

I did defeat Voldemort when the time came. The battle was fierce, but casualties where mainly on his side. I wondered why I had such trouble with the concept of murder, what does it mean to murder a murderer? Not much. I am glad that we did not meet again on that day; I cannot imagine what would have happened. But as it was, I did not see you, nor do I know if you lived through the battle or not. I never tried to find out.

_But I loved you_

_Then I lost you_

Love you? Yes I loved you. Being a Malfoy allowed me to easily bury those feelings and prepare myself for whatever destiny was designed for me. I am glad that I never saw you that day, but I know that you survived. Only that thought allowed me to sleep every night.

* * *

Two old men, separated by thousands of miles, turned off their lights and settled for the final darkness. Neither knew where the other was, neither knew if the other was still alive after all these years. And as they passed into a different sphere of consciousness, did they meet again? 

x

x

x

No.

Their paths were chosen a long time ago.

_And I will never be the same_

* * *

A/N: So? What did you think? Please let me know... 


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